Malakai’s Home Birth Story

Hello friends! Excited and honored to share this story with you. 

It’s still wild to me that a year ago I gave birth. 

Even though it’s been a year, part of me still can’t believe I experience giving birth (which anytime it happens, however it happens, it’s a legit miracle). Or even, that I have a son. Still to this day I just stare at him in awe, amazed that he’s really ours.

Soooo first things first: Grab a cup of coffee (or a hot beverage) because I tend to be very “chatty” when it comes to things I’m passionate about. AKA, this will probably be long. 

Secondly, I thought I’d go ahead and address a question I get when people find out we did home birth: WHY HOME BIRTH?

Honestly, there’s a huge list of reasons why we chose home birth (that I’d be happy to share at a later time) that mostly revolved around our desire to have a natural, unmedicated birth. 

I also just personally felt most comfortable giving birth at home vs. a hospital. 

Home birth for us was a personal choice and one that I’m glad we made. If we get to have more biological children, I hope to have more home births. 

I could easily rant about the amazing experience it is to labor in the comfort of your home, to have places that are warm, familiar and inviting surrounding you. You can eat or drink whatever you want (with the midwife’s permission). You can move about freely. You can have whoever (or not have whoever) you want to be there. It’s just a super peaceful atmosphere to be in and move through labor in… and then pure bliss to have baby earthside and be able to be together, not having people check in on you every hour, and not have to do anything but just soak up this exciting new chapter. Overall just HIGHLY RECOMMEND. 

We also chose to have a doula (who is basically like a birthing coach) because we had never given birth before, were doing so at home, and wanted all the support and encouragement we could get. And I’m so glad we made this decision, because she was worth her weight in gold. 

OKAY, NOW LET’S GET

TO STORY TIME!

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// PREGNANCY

I’m grateful to say that I had a really “easy” pregnancy (I put easy in quotes, because even without complications, pregnancy isn’t something I’d call easy).  We didn’t have any complications or concerns, which helped us have peace about having a home birth for our first child.

We had prayed about finding a CNM (certified nurse midwife) that served in our area – and God answered that prayer in a prenatal yoga class when one of the students shared about her midwife with me. We met with Linda, a believer and long-time practicing midwife (and home birth midwife) for a combined 30 years. Perfect match and answer to prayers.

We also prayed a lot that if (for safety reasons) we shouldn’t have a home birth, that God would make it evident. Nothing ever popped up (not even in the slightest) so we took that as a sign that we were good to go. 

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// The Weekend Before His Birthday

Malakai’s due date was September 13th, which also happened to be my very last day at Chick-fil-A (I was a contractor there for two years). We made the decision for me to be home full time, while still working my Rosalynne Love business (and I’m so glad we chose this route).

We had the weekend to hang with friends and family, take some maternity photos, and just soak up these last unknowing days before our sun arrived. 

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// Monday, September 16th 

Today was my first day “not working” in years! I let myself have a peaceful, slow day, and even indulged in a 3 hour nap (which was totally work from the holy spirit, because God knew what was coming). It was a calm day, and the perfect “before baby” day (without my even knowing that’s what it was). 

Daniel and I did our normal evening routine of dinner, an episode of Friends and a round of our favorite board game (Catan). Daniel then watched some baseball, and I took our beloved pup Jace, for a walk. 

We went to bed around 11 pm, and I remember being annoyed (internally) and thinking, “I sure I hope I don’t go into labor soon because we’re going to bed so late and I’d hate to lose sleep.”

WEELLL….

I tossed and turned in bed for hours. Naive little me just thought I couldn’t get comfortable (because helloooooo 40 weeks and 4 days pregnant body) but this still seemed a bit strange. 

At around 2 am, I went into the living room, realizing I wasn’t going to sleep and I didn’t want to bother Daniel anymore (though God totally let him sleep through my flopping like a fish out of water, and for that I’m grateful). 

Once in the living, the idea occurred to me – “I might be in labor!”

Unsure of what labor felt like (and not having my water break or any of the more obvious signs yet) I prayed that God would give me a sign so I could know if this was the real deal, or just braxton hicks (which now I know that if you just drink water and take a bath… that’s a tall-tell sign. If it’s Braxton Hicks, they’ll go away. If it’s labor, they’ll continue. But I didn’t know this prior). 

Anyways, I went to the restroom and very obviously lost my mucus plug (which I had only just learned about, thankfully). So God gave me my sign –

I was officially in labor!

I then decided to literally swallow 5x my regular dose of probiotics, because I had tested positive for Group B Strep and wanted to give Malakai all the healthy bacteria possible. 

However, threw those suckers up pretty quick because being in labor and eating a ton of probiotics on an empty stomach? Not a good combination. 

I then decided that since I was in labor (and thought things would happen sooner than they did) I would go downstairs to my studio to fill orders (because I knew it would be easier to do now then after baby).

I also decided to call my doula, because at this point I had been in labor for 5 hours and I was anxious for SOMEONE else to know that things were happening. 

This is how that conversation went (the short version, obvs). 

Libby (the doula): “Hey Rosalynne, let me listen to you experience a contraction.”

Rosalynne: “Sure. *has the smallest, early contraction ever*”

Libby: “Okay, Rosalynne what are you doing right now?”

Rosalynne: “Filling orders in my studio.”

Libby: “Honey, go upstairs and go back to sleep.”

I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t disappointed… But I knew that she knew far better than I did, so I listened to her orders. I’m also really grateful she didn’t call me out, but instead gracefully encouraged me to sleep while I still could.

So I went upstairs and tried my best to “sleep” between contractions. 

At this point, they were on average about 5 minutes apart, and lasting for 45-90 seconds. 

I guess I’m a baby, but I didn’t feel like I could sleep through them at all… So I just tried to rest between each one as best as I could. 

I also definitely played up that the early contractions were bigger than they actually were… which didn’t help things. Looking back, I would have advise myself so differently. Instead, I would have drank a glass of wine or a cup of tea, read a book until my eyes were sleepy and passed out. 

But now I know for next time, if the need arises.

// 3:00-6:30 a.m.

I just labored on the couch in our living room and did my best to rest (and wasn’t very successful in doing so).

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// 6:30 a.m.

I texted my friend Joanna to let her know that I was in labor (yay!). She came and picked up our dog Jace (something we had pre-arranged) and wished me all the best. 

At this time, I also texted our small group to let them know the news and our family groups as well. My mom instantly called me in excitement, and then asked how Daniel was feeling. When I told her he was still asleep (I figured at least one of us should be well rested) she told me that it was time to wake him up and let him know that today was the day! 

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// 7:30 a.m.

I went to my husbands bedside, and in the most gentle voice, said these words, 

“Hey sweetie, you’re not going to work today. Instead, we’re going to meet our son. I’m in labor.”

He instantly sat up and said, “Are you serious?!” and was completely awake. 

Much to my delight, instead of freaking out, he got up with excitement and went into “GO” mode. 

He cleaned the entire house, took charge of communicating with my midwife, doula, friends and family, and just let me continue to labor and rest.

Seriously… best hubby ever. 

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// 7:30 a.m.-2:00 p.m.

Daniel kept communicating to all the people, prepping our house, and I just kept laboring on the couch.

To be perfectly honest, at this point I felt exhausted. I had been up for nearly 24+ hours, and while I had a nap the day before (which I knew helped) and rested as much as I possibly could between contractions…

I had never felt so tired in my life.

I did my best to not let any negative thoughts come into my mind. I had the strongest peace that God was a part of this and that I had nothing to fear… but things were moving very slowly (in my mind, at least) and I did start to wonder if we would ever progress. 

However, I’m grateful that my desire to trust God and this process trumped any fears or frustrations that I might have otherwise had.

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// 2:30 p.m.

Both my midwife and doula both showed up within 5 minutes of each other. I was grateful to have them there because at this point, I had been in labor for 15 hours and I was just ready for someone to say that there was progress. 

I said a little prayer that there would be SOME KIND of progress (really anything) and I was so grateful for when my midwife checked me and let me know that I was 5 cm dilated and fully effaced. PTL!

I knew that dilation isn’t everything, but this was such a sigh of relief that all the efforts so far were helping progress towards meeting our sweet son. 

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// 2:30 p.m.-11:00 p.m. 

This timeline is a lot more of a blur to me, as I really just remember pockets of things happening. 

At some point, my labor started to (thankfully) pick up and my contractions started to intensify. 

Our doula had me work on different positions to help bring Malakai further down the birth canal (and lemme tell you, deep squatting during intense contractions is not the most pleasant thing I’ve ever felt in my life). But I was grateful to do anything that would help move things along. 

At another point, the birth crew set my water pool up so I could labor in there… and my goodness, was that absolutely heavenly. 

Water makes you weightless, so quite literally a lot of the pressure I was feeling felt like it had been lifted. It felt wonderful for a good portion of my contractions, but when push came to shove (pun not originally intended, but it works) I apparently wasn’t vibing the water thing and wanted to push elsewhere (this part has been relayed to me via my husband). 

Oh! At another point, my midwife did a second check and accidentally broke my water. She originally was going to let it break naturally, but I guess it was quite literally at the breaking point… and my goodness, was that release of pressure one of the best feelings ever. Not to be TMI, but it’s like letting out gas when you’re really bloated… It’s just a big relief. 

I do remember freaking out when my water broke though (internally, because as Daniel has told me he said I barely said 5 words all day), because the checks were on my bed and I knew that the waterproof cover hadn’t been placed on there yet. But my midwife was (is) a baller and had waterproof pads that caught everything – and once I was off the bed, the birth team stripped it and set up our waterproof situation so that we’d be good to go if I decided to birth in the bed (which I did, so I’m extra glad they swapped things out). 

I eventually hit transition, which was intense but I was excited to hit this point because I knew that it meant meeting Malakai was just around the corner! 

I started pushing on my back, in our bed (not our original intention, but just the way things happened).

I was sooo exhausted at this point, that while I initially was pushing excellently, I think my momentum started weaning with my low energy levels. 

So our midwife and doula had Daniel sit behind me, to help prop me up (for whenever it was time to push or “bare down”) and that helped significantly!

Quick, funny side story: a friend of mine had given me a pregnancy pillow to use and borrow during my pregnancy. Well, I guess that was within reach, so someone put that behind me when they propped me up against Daniel. 

Needless to say, I gave birth leaning up against that pillow (and soaking it in my sweat) so when it came time to return pregnancy items to my friend… we told her the story of how our son was basically born on that pillow, and sent her a new one. 

So back to the story:

I pushed for two hours, which was hard as that was, I was literally overwhelmed with gratitude to be at the end. 

Even though this was physically the hardest and most demanding part, and I literally had broke capillaries in my face from pushing so intensely, it was also my favorite part. I think simply because I knew it was the last ‘thing’ before meeting Malakai. That our time to be together was almost here.

Also, the ONLY time I let a negative thought creep into my head, and apparently two of the five words I had said all day, was near the end of my time pushing.

I literally had never felt SO exhausted in my life. At this point, I had been awake 36 hours, I hadn’t eaten anything in nearly 30 hours (because even though I could have, food just didn’t sound good to me all day).

So at one point, I was pushing and literally felt like I had NO energy left in me. I meant he holy spirit had legit carried me to this point, but even then I felt like I had used it all up.

Malakai’s head was crowned for 15 minutes. Talk about ring of fire and the longest 15 minutes of my life…. and I started to freak out, thinking I didn’t have what it takes to give that last, final push to get him out.

So I uttered the words aloud, “I can’t.”

And no sooner had I said them, I instantly rebuked them.

My faith trumped my fear (or really exhaustion) and I KNEW that God had brought me to this moment, and he would see us through.

AND HE DID.

// 11:07 p.m.

Malakai was born!

He instantly screamed, which is a gift because that meant his lungs weren’t full of fluid. We immediately did skin-to-skin and our midwife let the umbilical chord stay attached until it stopped pulsing. 

At some point shortly after, I birthed the placenta (while still doing skin to skin), but in full honesty – I don’t even remember that. I mean I know it happened, because my midwife showed Daniel and I the placenta… but otherwise I don’t remember even feeling it. Ha. 

Pretty much after that, I was out for the count – completely passed out from exhaustion. 

I do remember little bits and pieces, like nursing for the first time (with the help from my doula) and which I apparently snored through most of (embarassing, but real). I remember him being weighed and hearing that he checked off all the boxes he needed to. I think after that, after knowing he was perfectly healthy, I fell deep asleep. 

Daniel, seeing that I was literally a goner, started freaking out a little. He knew the midwife and doula were only here for maybe an hour to finish cleaning up, then they would leave. So he called my mom, who happened to already be in the car on her way (moms just have a way of knowing).

My mom kept Malakai the first night, so Daniel and I could both sleep. She came in periodically to have Malakai nurse, and did checks on him to make sure he continued to be well through the night. Seriously so grateful for her. 

The next morning, woke up rested and in pure bliss and astonishment that we had a son! He was here, with us, earthside!!! It was the most surreal and incredible feeling I think I’ve ever felt. 

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So that’s our story! 

I feel very blessed to have experienced a home birth and to have had a positive experience. I’m so grateful for my incredible birth team, my amazing husband and my mom, for all they did to contribute to the experience. 

Also have to shout out the many amazing friends and family who blessed us with meals those first few weeks Malakai was born. I truly felt like I was able to just relax and soak up this new season of motherhood, and for that I’ll forever be truly grateful. 

I’m far from an expert in this, but if you have any questions or wanna chat more about my experience, don’t hesitate to reach out!

xo,

Rosalynne